君子不忧不惧。
关于死光，关于1958年失败者俱乐部，我基本上，看过四次了，说过，无数次了。
这是因为，恐惧对我来说，确实是个很大，很大的题目。
曾经和人聊到“为什么我喜欢看恐怖小说”这样一个话题。我引用了一句小时候看过的一本小小的恐怖小说中的一句话：
看到恐怖真相的人有难了，他们将永远的变成石头。
我说，你看，恐惧是一种源始的力量。
呃，zhuangbility leads to leipility…
可是，总会有，那没由来的一阵恐慌。。不是么？
我怕疼，怕任何让人疼得要死或者不舒服得要死的疾病。
我怕黑，怕来路不明或者不可理喻的一切，比如疯子，比如（没头的）苍蝇。
我怕不在，怕自己明明活着却不被人记得得仿佛已经死了——这就是“全都是风”的确切来历。
我怕非人，怕看到人之异于禽兽者几希以及我自己居然也变成那个样子。
我怕改变同时也怕不变。
我怕自己是nobody同时也怕自己是somebody.
我怕发生过的一切重来，也怕未曾想象过的恐怖不期而至。
昨天看完了银河系漫游指南系列，虽然那句“不要恐慌”作为未名nick，已经快五个月了吧。
在这样一个宇宙中，之所以需要在这么伟大的一本书的封面上以大而友善的字体写着“不要恐慌”，完全是因为，你真的没有办法不恐慌。
可是，当没有什么不让我们害怕的时候，“怕什么”已经不重要了，重要的是“怕”本身。
再来一次吧：如果金星巨蟹永遠的把防禦感放在第一位，金星巨蟹將無法去改進自己的問題。
常常，其实我知道，或者自以为自己知道，我只是在“怕”而已。
常常，意识到这一点，也就够了。
子曰：“内省不疚，夫何忧何惧？”
July 10th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
最近我也在反省…
我其实从没认真审视过自己的灵魂…
July 13th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
别老反省了。决定了的事，别多想了。
不要怀疑自己。
还是面向未来吧。
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